Dear Sam Worthington, honey,In case you hadn't noticed, I have a teensy crush on you. It began way back when things went bad for you in Bootmen. I really wanted you to get Sophie Lee (or me) and not fight with your brother. It continued when you kissed Abbie Cornish in Somersault. You have no idea how many times I watched that and dreamt it was me. I cant believe they made you all blue in one part of Avatar and with no legs in the other. A travesty of super dooper proportions in my opinion. What a waste of your masculine appeal. Its all in the eyes, you see, and those burly bricklayers shoulders and that lovely strong chin. I love a strong chin on a man.
This morning I got up super early to pop over to Nannup and see you working - I know you're there, its been all over the news. I had my breakfast and got dressed, then I chickened out because I didnt think my boss would be too happy if I rocked up two hours late for work when I only work three hours on a Wednesday.
I really wanted to come because I have a favour to ask. I'd really love it if you'd play Ben in Heart of Glass when they make the movie. Unless you're fifty by then, of course. Ben is only in his late twenties so I'd have to choose someone younger. Not that Im saying you'll look any less hot when you're fifty, i just don't like it when they try to make people look younger to play a part. So, if you like I could bring you a copy of the book to read in your downtime. Im sure you'd love it. Or your girlfriend would.
Anyway, thats about all I have to say but just one more thing. I know there are a lot of those alternate types living in Nannup and you may not find the accommodation up to your standards. if this happens, I have two free bedrooms in my NEW house and I'll even give you an ensuite and cooked breakfast with REAL coffee. It would have to be nicer than the caravan park, surely.
Anyway let me know.
PS: If you see Bono, can you please not tell him I invited you to stay, I only asked him for a drink and he might get cross. :)
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